The man at the desk looked at my book at the used
book sale and said, “Not worth more than 25 cents.” It was a “condensed” book. Worthless in his opinion.
I
bought it because it had contained the biography of Oswald Chambers, author of My Utmost for His Highest, a devotional
book I have read off and on for more than sixty years. I wanted to know more about the man behind the
book.
My
copy of My Utmost was given to me at our 1947 wedding. A few weeks later, I recognized it as the book
I had once accidentally picked up a few years earlier in my boarding house. The September 1 reading
began: “Be ye holy, for I am holy.” The
writer wrote that the purpose of life
was holiness, not happiness. I was
chasing happiness.
Christians
were to believe in God because God is God, and not because of what we could
squeeze out of him like stuff to fill shelves and rooms. I typed out the reading and forgot about it until this
re-acquaintance several years later.
After
my husband’s death in 1962, My Utmost became my diary. I jotted the
stepping-stones of my life in the margins:
births, deaths, illnesses, dark valleys, high moments. I also commented
on the writing— content as well as diction and style. I argued with the
words of this unknown writer. I underlined and re-underlined some passages. I
wondered about the writer yet never stopped to analyze the appeal of this book for countless readers
decades after his death. It was first published in 1927 and continues to be
sold today.
I
find I underlined heavily the words for November 11, “If God has made your cup
sweet, drink it with grace; if He has made it bitter, drink it in communion
with Him.” My cup was bitter, very
bitter. Sudden widowhood, return to work,
living in a new country, four young children to feed and nurture – would
my cup ever be sweet again?
In Oswald
Chambers: Abandoned to God, biographer David Macasland explains, to a degree, the world-wide appeal of this British writer.
Chambers lived a short life – he died at
age 43 while working as a chaplain with
the British military in Egypt. He had been a highly respected, inspiring, much loved
preacher/teacher, undergirded by an unwavering faith..
As
I flipped through my own worn copy of My Utmost after reading the biography, I
understood more clearly his main appeal
to readers like myself, especially in the post-war years. His writing was backed by years of study in
aesthetics, psychology, philosophy and theology. He loved beauty. He loved
classical music. He loved language,
especially poetry. He loved explaining,
dissecting, making things clear.
He
pushed hard against legalism and
hard-core evangelicalism. He had no use for a “prayer-meeting Jesus,” faith
in Christ evident only in the church sanctuary. He rejected using the name of
Jesus as a magic word in prayer, with the expectation that saying it would
produce results.
He
wanted his listeners to serve God without reserve. He never talked about where
the money was going to come from. God would provide if we gave our utmost for
his highest.
He discouraged the worship of “service” as an
end in itself, or clinging to traditional beliefs for the sake of tradition. He rejected anything contrived to give the holiness
a reputation.
In
his thinking, faith was not the pathway to prosperity. Today he would have been preaching against the
prosperity Gospel. He lived a simple life based on faith and was often willing
to launch out on ventures that today would first require a preliminary
budget with all the details filled
in. His view was that if the task was of
God, God would provide. Yet he insisted
also that discipleship always carries the option of turning back.
What
is not clear in my copy of My Utmost is that without his wife Biddy, this book and his many other writings would
not be available to use today. She was a
topnotch stenographer who took down his sermons in shorthand and then
transcribed them. She saw the value of
putting his talks into print. Before she died in 1966, 50 books bearing her
husband’s name had been published as well as booklets, sermon leaflets.
Here’s
one last quotation I highlighted: “The author who benefits you most is not the
one who tells you something you did not know before, but the one who gives
expression to the truth that has been dumbly struggling in you for utterance.”
Those
words directed my thinking when I first started writing. I struggled to articulate what my readers
were thinking and unable to express.
My 25 cents was a worthwhile investment. I learned a lot.
"Expression of Truth" that has been lying in darkness is indeed what you did Katie! 🙏
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