I was in a hurry to find a parking spot and get a
little shopping done. Let me say I was in a big hurry. But the parking lot was filled. I drove up and down the rows—desperate to get
my shopping done and go home. I was getting more upset by the minute.
Then I noticed the brake lights of a car pulling
out. I also noticed a car closer than mine was standing ready, lights signaling. I quickly signaled also. And charged into the vacant spot, applauding
myself for beating the other car. I was the
winner.
But I was the loser. I had taken a parking spot that
didn’t belong to me. I didn’t ram the other car, but I took whatever means I
had to win.
Trivial? Not
at all. When we take what we want when we want it, time after time, it becomes
part of our nature. Being set aside is not acceptable. We live with the
pressure to win. I hated myself for my action. But my need to park seemed most
important. I was following societal
protocol.
Consider this: The coach who can’t produce a winning
team is a reject.
The business executive who can’t show a winning
balance sheet doesn’t last long.
The TV show that doesn’t make top ratings is
dropped.
The pastor who doesn’t make a church grow is voted
out through a vote of “non-confidence.”
The wife who isn’t an asset to her husband’s career
is discarded for a newer and fancier model.
Once you the internalize the need to remain on top
at any cost – it has the potential for greater anger -- and eventually, violence.
I use the word “violence” deliberately, for all violence
is the same, writes Jacques Ellul, whether physical or psychological. They are on
a continuum. Both are life-destroying.
Both break relationships.
Jesus taught that anger is the same as murder, lust
the same as adultery--strong words that got former President Jimmy Carter into
trouble once.
Violence is as common as dandelions in spring.
If you have an inconvenient pregnancy, you choose an
abortion.
If you’re against abortions, you shoot the
abortionist. It happened in our city just a few years go.
If the infirm are taking too long to die, you neglect
them.
If things go wrong at work, or your favorite
football team loses, you bang the wife and kids around, or at least holler at
them until they’re terrified. Statistics show that domestic abuse increases
after a big national game.
Children take weapons to school to defend themselves
against bullying.
When nations or ethnic groups disagree, they
slaughter one another.
“We shoot to
kill,” householders warn in today’s gun
rights era. We are becoming a country
armed against ourselves. For many people, violence, shoving people to the
bottom by any means is their way of
keeping the world in order.
Psychological violence comes in many forms,
including verbal abuse, gossip, slanted reports, clinging to secrets as a power
play, becoming manipulative.
What does our society admire, almost worship? People with big mean mouths who can neatly cut
someone down with a few well chosen labels or phrases. Secretly we wish we
could do the same.
It’s okay to call political leaders the choicest
derogatory words in our vocabulary. It’s
a righteous act, patriotic, to show we have strong convictions.
And here’s another point: To condone one kind of
violence means condoning all kinds. When
we condone abusing someone with words, we condone hitting that person with a
club. Once we start bullying it is hard to stop at just words.
In ancient times, according to Genesis, Eve gave
birth to two sons: Cain and Abel. The first became a farmer, the second a
sheepherder. Both men brought sacrifices to God: Cain possibly a sheaf of
wheat, Abel a rack of lamb.
We are not told why God favored Abel’s sacrifice
over Cain’s, but we do know that Cain became angry and killed his brother. He
used violence to keep his world arranged the way he wanted it—so he could remain
the winner – this time with God.
Our society has come to believe Cain’s method of
dealing with his problem is better than Abel’s.
The violence of Cain will take care of everything. Violence answers all
problems.
I believe we are all children of Cain, because we
all have Cain’s problem: wanting to get the parking spot when we want it.
However, we need to read the rest of the story. God placed a mark on Cain – a sign of God’s
grace. But he also told him he could
choose his actions. He was a free moral being. He could let sin in
or keep it out. Being violent or not violent is a choice—always.
The writer of Genesis uses a vivid word picture: “Sin is crouching at your door.” It is like a wild animal,
wanting to get in. In John Steinbeck's
classic East of Eden the servant Lee
makes a compelling argument with Cal, one of the twins who are the counterpart to
Cain and Abel, about the glory of human
choice when it comes to violence.
The American Standard version reads “Sin is crouching
at your door... but you must master it.” Lee argues that “must” in the Hebrew is
actually “mayest,” (timshell). He wants Cal to
know that He has the choice to follow sin or not.
Choice “makes a man great, that gives him
stature with the gods, for in his weakness and his filth and his murder of his
brother he has still the great choice. He can choose his course....”
He adds that the human soul is always “attacked
and never destroyed” because of the possibility of choice. To Lee the human soul is a “glittering
instrument.”
“Thou mayest...” versus "thou must...."
Choice cuts the feet “from under weakness and
cowardliness and laziness.”
When I took that parking spot, I was weak and
lazy. I was one of Cain’s children. But I can choose
to yield to keep my soul "glittering."
We have the
choice. We are Cain’s children. That is
his legacy.
